On Bullying

I´ve been asked to write a post on bullying, with special attention to the bullies.
God knows what would qualify me to do so, but I accepted the challenge.

So here we go...

Definition

What constitutes bullying? According to wikipedia bullying is a form of aggressive behavior manifested by the use of force or coercion to affect others, particularly when the behavior is habitual and involves an imbalance of power. It can include verbal harassment or threat, physical assault or coercion and may be directed repeatedly towards particular victims, perhaps on grounds of race, religion, gender, sexuality, or ability. The "imbalance of power" may be social power and/or physical power. The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a "target".

Settings

In all situations, you have one ore more bullies, one or more victims, and normally some bystanders. I will look into three different kinds of settings here and try to gain some insight into the motives of the bullies:
1.) All against one
2.) The gang
3.) The lone bully

Of course the settings and the probable causes stated here are only ideal-typical and will in reality most likely intermingle with others.



1.) All against one

This is the most awkward situation for the victim, because the whole group turns against him. So help may only come from the outside. From the cases I´ve heard of, this should not be a widespread sort of bullying. Normally, only few people in a group actually cross the line and become bullies themselves, the majority just stands aside and does nothing.

For this situation to occur, the bullying has to be seen as more or less morally legitimate by the standards of society, for all the people to join in. Though it may also be that the group is so large and for the individuals belonging to it so influential, that there is no real sense of an "outside", except the victim(s), and so the group morale is seen as the morale of society at large.

This moral justification may be the assertion of a  wrongdoing by the victim. In this way the whole group expresses through no uncertain means that they find the alleged behaviour of the victim so unacceptable that they want to exclude him/her from their community. So it should be more likely for this to occur in closed-minded societies with commonly held strong moral beliefs and in societies which are more centered on group values than on individuality.

Because everyone is involved, this may be the situation that is the hardest to overcome; the more, the longer this goes on and the more severe the bullying becomes. Everyone would have to question his/her own actions and accept the fact that he/she himself has done wrong, possibly even on false assumptions, if the the alleged wrongdoing of the victim is revealed as unfounded rumour. Quite a few people don´t have the inclination or inner strength to do this and will make up reasons, why what happened is actually the victim´s fault.

In conclusion, bullying in this case would mean the conformation of community values through the exclusion of people who are seen as not belonging to the group.


2.) The gang

Here, we typically have one gang-leader, some gangmembers, some bystanders, and one or more victims.

Every member of the group (except the victims, if the the characteristics of victimhood are set in advance and can´t be changed) has to decide if he stands aside with the possibility to become a victim himself, or to join the gang. Every gangmember has a higher social standing in the group and is protected. The higher he/she gets in the gang structure, the more power he/she can exercise.

The gangmembers may recognize their behaviour as immoral by societies` standards, but it is not uncommon for subgroups to develop their own ethical standards and let their behaviour be guided by these. A common basis would likely be either social darwinistic (might makes right) or moral nihilistic (no behaviour is better than another) theories. Besides that they may pick passages from their societies` traditional/religious texts to justify their actions, especially towards outsiders for whom these texts form the basis for their morality.

 To overcome this situation one would have to have a fairly large group of the bystanders to aid the victim(s), depending on the size of the gang. Though this situation is easier to solve than the one in the first setting, it is by no means easy and will likely require outside help.


 In conclusion, in this setting the bullying is mainly a means to gain personal power and acceptance in a group.


3.) The lone bully

 In this setting the bully stands alone against the bystanders and victim(s). He can easily see that his actions are not backed by anyone else. Although he gains some power and attention through his actions, he isn´t accepted by the group. Much less than in other settings, the explanations for the bullying lie not so much within the realm of sociology but of psychology. In school the bully is most likely someone who fails to get good grades and has not discovered other positive talents within him. He has probably been told time and again that he is worthless and finally accepts this view and constructs a negative personality for himself. When physical violence is involved, it´s most likely that he has experenced this against himself in the first place.

In a work-related environment, the bully will most likely be someone in a formally powerful position, because one can harass only subordinates without instant repercussions. This means he/she had to have at least some success in life, so the most-likely explanations for his behaviour would be a person with a narcissistic or sociopathic personality, meaning he/she isn´t able to have empathy towards other people.

Although in this setting it should be comparatively easy to stand up against one person, in the examples given this will be complicated by the fact that the school-bully is way beyond the point to care about what others think of him and the boss is in a position of power that will protect him, at least up to a point.

In conclusion, the bullying in this setting is the expression of a disturbed personality.

Change

Have you ever thought about change?
Well, I´m sure everyone has, at some point in life.
I´m not especially concerned about getting older myself, especially because I have always seemed older than I actually was (not so much in looks, but in behaviour and interests, that is). So you might say, my physical age is just catching up with my real one.

But what has touched me in that respect was my discovery of Libera in late 2011. The videos I came across were a few years old by the time I first saw them (most were from the 2007 Leiden concert). At first I didn´t know this and just enjoyed the music. But after only a short time, as I considered attending a concert somewhen in the future, I realized that I wouldn´t be able to see/hear any of the boys I saw in the videos on stage, at least not in lead roles. And all this despite the fact that the footage was taken only 4 years ago.

4 years to me is no timespan to speak of. Of course that´s different for kids and teens, but for most kids, getting older means an improvement in abilities. For these kids it means losing their ability to sing in this very special way.  I can only imagine how it would feel to practice for years, getting better, singing solos for a few years at most and then see your ability diminishing.

I  hope they all find a way to cope with that and find satisfaction in other roles like teacher for the younger ones or playing instruments. From the outside though, it looks tragic, for every one of them knows in advance that this will eventually happen and they can´t do anything about it.

It would be interesting to learn if this outside view comes anywhere near the subjective ones of the boys themselves. As a fan one can easily wish to stop them from getting older just to keep their ability. But if you would be granted that wish, would it be fair to the boys?  They would retain one truely unique ability, but what about everything else they would miss out on? Would they want it for themselves? In the end I can´t imagine that, at least not for many. Especially kids normally can´t await to grow up.

So in the end, we all not only have to accept the inevitable but also recognize that this inevitable is most probably the better alternative, if there was one. We can only hope that the boys get all the support they need, if and when they need it, to get over it.